The End
We have spoken on the phone several times now. I haven't seen her yet, but I imagine I will soon enough.
She has a long way to go before she will be over whatever happened to her over there. Getting through this is her top priority right now.
Though she is truly suffering right now, she is taking care of it. She is getting help. Knowing that she has been living less than fifteen miles from me for a month now and in serious trouble but with no word to me at all actually leaves me with a feeling of relief. It isn't my responsibility anymore.
I began this project thinking that two worst things about this would be that we would be living so deeply in the closet and that she might die. I was only partially right.
One of the most important things I learned, quite frankly, is that there is very little difference between a military wife and a lesbian military wife.
So much energy goes into supporting these soldiers while they are deployed.
Too many nights spent worrying. So much effort trying to build morale--keeping the home fires burning. Too much silence.
For me, there was too much work trying to sort out too many details with no support anywhere because I was her lesbian wife.
I can't think that all of that was for nothing. Some of my loving effort must have helped to keep her alive and to bring her home. I have to believe that.
Over this past year, I have learned more about the military than I ever thought I would--that is, of course, after I got a full ride to college and never thought about joining the service again.
Before this year, it was really easy for me to take a simplistic view of the military and of war. Both are bad, right?
It is much more complex than that. Both of these things have shaped my life in ways unimaginable. I have also been able to trace my own history and the history of my family in relationship to the military and in relation to war.
I am really angry about the human costs of this war. Not only the dead citizens of Iraq and their grieving families, not only the more than 2000 dead soldiers and their grieving families but also the immeasurable devastation there and here. There is a wide network of silent suffering as a result of this. And for what?
This is my last entry. For me, everything from here on out is just a postscript.
She has a long way to go before she will be over whatever happened to her over there. Getting through this is her top priority right now.
Though she is truly suffering right now, she is taking care of it. She is getting help. Knowing that she has been living less than fifteen miles from me for a month now and in serious trouble but with no word to me at all actually leaves me with a feeling of relief. It isn't my responsibility anymore.
I began this project thinking that two worst things about this would be that we would be living so deeply in the closet and that she might die. I was only partially right.
One of the most important things I learned, quite frankly, is that there is very little difference between a military wife and a lesbian military wife.
So much energy goes into supporting these soldiers while they are deployed.
Too many nights spent worrying. So much effort trying to build morale--keeping the home fires burning. Too much silence.
For me, there was too much work trying to sort out too many details with no support anywhere because I was her lesbian wife.
I can't think that all of that was for nothing. Some of my loving effort must have helped to keep her alive and to bring her home. I have to believe that.
Over this past year, I have learned more about the military than I ever thought I would--that is, of course, after I got a full ride to college and never thought about joining the service again.
Before this year, it was really easy for me to take a simplistic view of the military and of war. Both are bad, right?
It is much more complex than that. Both of these things have shaped my life in ways unimaginable. I have also been able to trace my own history and the history of my family in relationship to the military and in relation to war.
I am really angry about the human costs of this war. Not only the dead citizens of Iraq and their grieving families, not only the more than 2000 dead soldiers and their grieving families but also the immeasurable devastation there and here. There is a wide network of silent suffering as a result of this. And for what?
This is my last entry. For me, everything from here on out is just a postscript.
posted by Kate Hatch at 3:39 PM
4 Comments:
oh come one do not leave us hanging!
Yeah... come on! Post more! I want to know more.I'm a gay male in the Army National Guard. My boyfriend worries about me getting deployed to Iraq and this was very informative for us.
feel free to visit at www.hadrianswalls.blogspot.com
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That is sad! We hope she comes home soon to you.
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